I’ve never thought much of hair.
Of course I put effort into styling it. I've been in and out of braids, sew-ins, cuts, colors, and curls - you name it - as my mood, or the style of the age turned. But I never viewed it as my “Sampson-ite" strength that couldn't be cut or a as a staple for beauty. Hair was just hair. I have loved many styles and been mortified by others, but of all the looks nothing felt like “home”. That is, until I had practically none.
I cut my hair last year. A decision largely derived from convenience. Finagling two kids ages two and under, didn't leave much time for myself. Routine hair maintenance could take me 3+ hours on certain days. Naturally, there are ways to balance life and grooming, so did the hair have to go? No. But for me, shaving off (pun intended) prep and prim time was pretty enticing if it meant I could do other things. Plus I had been wanting to try a low cut, having already moved inches closer by cutting my hair into a tapered style only months earlier. And so, I did.
While cutting my hair did free up a lot of time, what was unexpected, and without question the most rewarding aspect, was how beautiful I felt. The cut was cool and I liked what I saw in the mirror, but something greater shifted inside of me. I could no longer hide behind a full head of curls when a blemish on my face popped up, or silken it out when I wanted to feel sleek and sexy. Not even pull it up for sportier days. It wasn’t until I was “exposed” did I realize how much my hair communicated with me. I now had to own it all and by doing so it forced me to look at myself differently. Closely. More confidently. I wasn't just examining the tresses in when I looked at my reflection, but observing the woman as a whole. The conqueror. The dreamer. The introvert. The romantic. I could see all of me, and I’ve never felt more beautiful.
It wasn’t until I was “exposed” did I realize how much my hair communicated with me.
As beautiful as I feel, not everyone will always share my sentiment. Case in point. I recently came across a guy who made a remark about my hair. He thought the style was “cool” but was curious as to what I looked like before I committed to the chop. With little thought I showed him an old social media profile picture. He gawked and gushed over the photo that I now had to redirect my attention to. Extra inches of silky bone straight hair lay past my shoulders on a much less “authentic” me looked back from the photo. All the while, this guy in the background continues to make a spectacle. “Now thats sexy! I mean both looks are nice, but that look is sexy and this look is ‘edgy’.” An eye roll and neck flip (because who needs hair) later I collected my still sexy self and exited the building.
The conqueror. The dreamer. The introvert. The romantic. I could see all of me, and I’ve never felt more beautiful.
They say beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Facts. Though, if you're not seeing with your heart as well as your eyes, chances are you have a restricted view. You don't need to cut your hair to own your beauty. but you certainly don't need the length to showcase it either. Don't look for anyone to validate your beauty for you. Never let anyone diminish it either.
Feel with your heart. Love what you see. Thats when self love comes naturally.