Are you compromising, or are you being compromised?


Oh, compromise. We’re quick to toss the word around but seldom lend ourselves to its true definition. Have you ever noticed that? When a given situation escalates, and things becomes increasingly uncomfortable, we look to “compromise” to find refuge. However, more times than not we’re agreeing because we just want to diffuse the argument. We want the uncomfortable feelings to go away….and quickly.  

I find myself applying and witnessing the principle several times a day. Whether it be in parenting - my son won the case of Mimi vs. Breakfast when she “compromised” and gave in to the persistent whines -and doe eyes- for Doritos for breakfast (I swear this would have never happened when I was two, but meh); or at work, or with family and friends.  And while looking at a situation openly and objective is essential to healthy interactions, how often do we do it and it is mutually beneficial? Are we actually allowing ourselves to be compromised?

Are your consenting at work to certain policies your don’t actually support, or by not standing up for yourself for fear of loosing your job? In relationships, are you letting the fear of loosing someone overshadow your beliefs? I’ve been there friends. I found myself in a marriage where two people were not on the same page. Now don’t get me wrong, I loved my spouse, and because of that love, neither of us wanted to hurt the other. However, our “compromise” overshadowed some of the values and qualities that made us each distinctly who we are, which in the long run derailed our future together.

Remember each uncomfortable moment in life will pass. Don't act out of fear or concede in comfort. Share in love and in truth, but let the outcome be what it will be. Never loose yourself while trying to be there for someone else. The commitment you keep to upholding your values is what is truly liberating. And that, is never worth the compromise.