Janel Liles2 Comments

In (Your) Time

Janel Liles2 Comments
In (Your) Time

 

I have mentioned before, that I've struggled over the years in believing in my own capabilities. Mainly because I compared myself to someone else and then doubted my ability, or placed too much stock in what other people think. Thankfully, those days are trailing further and further behind me. But what’s eye opening is just how many people feel, or at some point have felt, similarly. As I've been talking with my peers over the last few weeks, this topic has been like a revolving door. I recently had a conversation with a loved one who said they weren't "adulting well". Much like I have viewed myself in the past, her assessment wasn't based on her own standards. Instead, she compared her current space to that of other people. Far too often, we discount that our placement is in fact testament of perseverance, hard work and determination, and most of all our faith. We have to stop down playing our current status and the experiences that have lead us to this point.

Every stage in life happens in its own timeline, serves a purpose, and is part of a very beautiful journey

As life would have it, I signed up a month or so ago for a self care workshop hosted by blogger Ashley Hinton of Watermelon Eggrolls, and the time rolled around to attend. I wasn't sure what I would gain by going, I just knew it was something that I needed to do for me. Isn't it amazing how things come together when you listen and are lead by your heart? The workshop couldn't have come at a better time. Over the past few weeks I’ve been realigning my focus and fortitude, and the session was confirmation that I am on the right track and am strong enough to complete this race. The "Beautiful Beautiful Me" workshop was nothing short of what the name suggest. In a room full of beautiful women, there was an outpouring of their beautiful stories because that's what they are. Good, bad, ugly and everything in between - yet beautiful. I felt inspired and restored as I listened. I found a little piece of me in so many of them and encouragement hearing from those on the other side of their test. It was such an awesome reminder that every stage in life happens in its own timeline, serves a purpose, and is part of a very beautiful journey. If we continue to look at it in that light, then it becomes the source of our strength to carry-on. I needed that reassurance. It is also that very reason that I share these ups and downs with all of you. 

To Reach the pinnacle of your potential, you have to bring your best self to the climb

There's no timeline on when we should be at certain points in life. Society has impressed on us that at this age you should be at point A, by this stage you should have achieved goal B, and at this year your life should look like exhibit C. I suppose somewhere along the way someone's life looked pretty awesome and was achieved by points A,B, and C and so it was adopted as the benchmark of a success life. Nonetheless, no two persons, their experiences, nor circumstances are the same -even if you grew up in the same household and share DNA- so why should your lives be?  To reach the pinnacle of your potential, you have to bring your best self to the climb. And note that I said the pinnacle of YOUR POTENTIAL. Not the summit of Susie so-and-so. YOURS. Stop looking to the left and right and focus on the road ahead.

Every decision we make is not going to be the right one or best option. Some of them may lead us to heartache, financial turmoil, etc. But be gentle with yourself. Learning from those mistakes, making the necessary adjustments in our plan, and carrying on, that's adulting well. Anyone who isn't mindful of their mishaps, stuck in the repetitive, and continues to remain captive of coveting the (appearing) successes of persons around you, those are the individual who have failed at adulting. Let's stop comparing our lives to one another and put doubt, fear, insecurity, self deprecation out on the curb where it belongs. There’s no age where learning stops and no time limit of achieving your goals. We may not always be on the lighter side of life but as long as we're learning from the past and pressing on, you can believe we're on the winning side.

 Photo of  Watermelon Eggrolls  "Beautiful Beautiful Me" Workshop. Taken by  Abby Walters

Photo of Watermelon Eggrolls "Beautiful Beautiful Me" Workshop. Taken by Abby Walters